One of my friends once told me that I am sometimes “expressionless”. I think she meant I am unsmiling (“expressionless” made me sound like some plastic mannequin!) which led her to think that I was annoyed at her. I suppose it didn’t help that I didn’t talk with her. The thing is sometimes I’m just so lost in my own thoughts that I wasn’t aware that I am giving off a “negative” aura. Now I realized even if there isn’t any verbal exchange, communication is still going on. I guess this is an example of error in encoding and decoding the message. There’s so much more to communication than just the oral conveying of messages!
To me, effective communication means to be able to share one’s thoughts and feelings clearly without conflicts, misunderstandings and errors. People come from all walks of life, and we are all different in how we perceive the world. Hence, to be able to communicate effectively is really an essential skill to be successful in work, relationship and life.
And that is the reason I am taking this module. I want to be able to interact confidently with strangers without feeling apprehensive. I haven’t had much chance to give oral presentations or do research projects in university (some might consider it a blessing :p). Now that graduation is looming I have no idea how to write an application letter. ES2007S provides me the opportunity to learn just how. I hope by the end of this semester, my head will be fuller with new knowledge, and my heart will be fuller with new friendships.
Hello seatmate! I was actually wondering who is allets for a moment before I realised it's actually stella written from behind!
ReplyDeleteI usually have the problem of being monotonous more than expressionless. Maybe you can adopt the policy of hanging a smile on your face instead of a stone expression! I guess both of us hope to achieve somewhat similar skills from this course since we're both blessed with not having to do presentations and etc in our major modules.
let's work hard together! (:
Hi Stella,
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is good to be aware of the non-verbal "signal" people give to others! It happens to the best of us and would sometimes lead to misunderstandings or not so pleasant first impressions.
In an ideal world, communicating without misunderstandings would definitely be nice, sadly this would not always be the case. Fret not, I firmly believe this course would "heighten our senses" and better prepare us for what life throws at us.
I have to agree with you on essential communication in being an essential skill at work, relationship, and life. Communication does not end after office hours and it is important to realise this. Communication breakdowns are often the cause of divorces and broken families and its saddening to know that it stems from something so fundamental.
All the best for the rest of the course!
Hi Stella,
ReplyDeleteActually I have a similar problem as yours. Friends would sometimes ask me why I look so sad, when all I was doing was keeping quiet. Now that we know communication is more than just words, I think Chuan Ting's idea of "hanging a smile on your face" would turn out to be very useful in making us look friendly. That would be the facial expression of an approachable person as decoded by the receiver of your message.
Regards,
Jinq Horng
Hey Stella,
ReplyDeleteDefinitely agree with you on this. There has been too many occasions where me being silent has been misunderstood as being melancholic or even depressed by the people around me! Doesn't help that I'm normally noisy in a group too. Smiling will be useful, though I think we have to take care not to look like clowns with our incessant grinning. :)
Hi Stella.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you have learnt about your shortcomings from that friend of yours.
I guess most of us are very inspired by how Mr Brad conducts his classes by now - the way he engages and composes himself in front of his students tells us how we could pick some useful insights from him on how NOT to bore the audience. However, though we generally find engaging communication more appealing that way, I do know others who find "expressionless" communication more favourable and efficient in demanding circumstances e.g. sports, backstage crew during a performance. It is only natural for others to initially regard them as "quiet" or "machine-like" in the early stage of getting to know them. Nevertheless, this depends whether others do take the initiative to get to know them, or if they are willing to make themselves known to others.
I believe it is important to recognise appropriate approaches to communication by anticipating the settings and requirement where communication takes place. For example, coming at least an hour before a presentation to get used to the atmosphere and interacting with the organisers and early-bird audience help the speaker assimilate into the actual scene and instill confidence. Rehearsals also make a difference by making the speaker more comfortable with the content of the presentation besides providing the speaker a chance to finetune accordingly.
Hope we could all benefit from this module together and mend our shortcomings with effective communication skills.
(By the way, I find the comment preview ability in blogspot very useful.)
I like the way you initiate this post with the personal anecdote, Stella. That gives a sense of how willing you are to share your experiences and how much you realize you have to learn about communication. It's also a convincing example of what effective communication might entail; it's not just what we think we are communicating, but also how others perceive what they see in us.
ReplyDeleteIn the second paragraph, you do a bit of backtracking though when you state as follows: "To me, effective communication means to be able to share one’s thoughts and feelings clearly without conflicts, misunderstandings and errors." Indeed, how we share what we want to share is important. But in view of your first paragraph's revelation, you should add that effective communication requires that we be aware of our audience, even when we don't think we are giving signals, and we should consider their perceptions as well.
On language use I have one suggestion for you. You write as follows:
"The thing is sometimes I’m just so lost in my own thoughts that I wasn’t aware that I am giving off a “negative” aura. Now I realized even if there isn’t any verbal exchange, communication is still going on."
Note the shifts in verb tense from past to present to past.
Now look at this:
" The thing is sometimes I’m just so lost in my own thoughts that I am not aware that I am giving off a “negative” aura. Now I realize even if there isn’t any verbal exchange, communication is still going on. "
Do you see how maintaining present tense actually makes these sentences more effective?
In any case, this is a good effort. I look forward to reading more of your writing this term